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Don’t Expect Having a Child to Change Your Life

How much I’ve changed in a month since becoming a dad. I’m pretty sure, many like myself would have heard how life-changing being a parent would be. I didn’t realise then how vague that statement was. One thing I can tell you upfront is – don’t expect having a child to change your life.

Being vague, I definitely formed my own impressions and thoughts. I thought it’d be a huge life-changing impact. Even right now, I’m having difficulties explaining my initial thoughts. Maybe how I viewed it was that having a child would change my very purpose of being alive. I thought my life would revolve around my family. I thought my life and career goals would change. I’m pretty sure I had a stronger impression but I’m not able to put it into words. Whatever it was, it’s definitely positive, seeing how excited I was.

Exactly a month has passed since I’ve taken on the responsibility of another life. How much has my life changed? How much of my impression was right/wrong? Let’s see…

I’m still…
  • I’m still playing games
  • I’m still seeing my friends
  • I’m still working the same job
  • I’m still studying
  • I’m still spending the same amount of time at home
  • I’m still watching my dramas
  • I’m still frugal
  • I’m still stubborn
  • I’m still lazy
I’ve changed to be…
  • More emotional
  • More understanding of other parents
  • More family-oriented
  • More easily agitated
I’ve lost…
  • My alone time
  • My beauty sleep
  • My privacy
  • Part of my money set for me
I’ve gained…
  • A new family member
  • Lots of love
  • Attention
  • Knowledge
  • Experience
  • Wisdom
  • Sympathy

So, how much have I changed? That’s pretty subjective. My life is definitely more family-centric now. I schedule my time around them, I buy things with them in mind, I always look forward to seeing them after a long day at work, I smile when I think of them, my phone is filled with photos of my child now. Heck, even my sleep pattern is defined by them.

However, other than that, I believe I haven’t changed all that much. What I want to say here is, many expect change externally. However, it doesn’t work that way. Change in us can only start from within. External factors are just motivations to help you change.

Don’t expect having a child to change your life. Likewise, don’t use your child as an excuse for your changes.

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